Book Review: Relentless: From Good To Great To Unstoppable
by Tim S. Grover with Shari Lesser Wenk
Should this book be called “Relentless or Ruthless?”
Tim Grover has a long track history of developing some of the sporting greats such as basketball legends, Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan. His relationship with his athletes was both as physical and mental trainer/coach. Through his experiences, he shares in an often blunt and brutal manner what it takes to be “Relentless”
He describes three types of competitors and each of their mindsets, roles, and traits:
- Coolers – good
- Closers – great
- Cleaners – unstoppable
He rightly highlights that having talent is not enough and that with sheer hard work and ruthless determination you can achieve what you set out to achieve. Relentless supports that success is achieved by never being satisfied, always driving to be the best, and then getting even better. But at what cost? The real-life stories paint a picture of isolation, addiction and winning at all costs. He suggests that winning becomes an addiction and that you don’t have to like what you do so long as you win.
He seems to take pride in taking his athletes to breaking point and beyond to develop mental toughness. He seems to promote them getting in touch with their dark side which he believes we all have within us. He talks often of self-control, however, he paints a picture where his athletes are at times “wrestling” with to stay in control. He talks about being feared, not liked and how “cleaners” trust very few people with their body and their trade.
I believe like the author that “You have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable” but there seems a world of difference between his version and my version of uncomfortable!
Many of the attributes he describes are positive. He aims to build athletes who are independent, resilient, and who take responsibility and can get into the zone and create magical performances. He is a huge advocate of hard work and in addressing the things we want to do least, first so they are done and accomplished. He encourages his “cleaners” to lead by example and plan for success. He teaches them to be able to make decisions under pressure and push themselves to improve.
One theme that emerges is that of it being a strength to recognise errors and mistakes and take ownership of them. Admit when you are wrong. He determines that confidence is being able to recognise when something is not going well, correct it and move forwards, rather than repeating the same mistake over and over because you can’t admit you’re wrong. He is clearly a dedicated coach who examines every variable so that they are planned for and prepared for so that at crunch time, the athlete has done the work and knows how to handle pressure.
My question after reading this book is, do all successful athletes have to sell their souls to reach the top? He uses words frequently such as killer and predator and having read the autobiographies of many of the greatest athletes of our time, it is clear that the sacrifices to become the best are huge. But do they all have to be ruthless, feared, and potentially therefore lonely – maybe?? I do hope not.
This book is great if you want to read about the mindsets and behaviours of athletes like Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant but be careful what you wish for if you buy into his win at all costs mentality. You are unlikely to bring out the best in others or have successful relationships both on and off the field of play. People may be in awe of you, but they will also be in fear of you and you could win but never be a winner.
